phoebe_halliwell: (C/P Darkness Together : tonic2w)
[personal profile] phoebe_halliwell
If I had to select only one song that I feel sums up my life and who I am now, it would have to be "Face to Face" by Siouxsie and the Banshees. If you listen to the lyrics, you can almost see every part of my life that the song touches on. If we have to be perfectly honest, the song really does seem to trace the roots and the bloom of my relationship with Cole.

Face to face -- my lovely foe
Mouth to mouth -- raining heaven's blows

When I fell in love with him, it is true that I didn't have any idea that he was a demon. However, he was a lawyer, and someone that my sisters and I had to be careful around and had to hide our secret from. Only Daryl and Andy had ever know our secret and remained trustworthy while they were in law enforcement. Trusting the assistant district attorney was just supposed to be right out.

Hand on heart -- tic tac toe
Under the stars -- naked as we flow

I knew logically what the smart thing to do was -- stay away from him completely. It was hard, though, and becoming even more difficult. I knew that I had fallen for him when he came by the house several times to check on us after someone had been breaking in. I also appreciated how he didn't bring charges against us when Prue's trap had hurt him the night he came into the house. True, he had been up to no good at that point, but he had seemed so sincere when he said he was glad that I wasn't the one that had set the dangerous trap.

Cheek to cheek -- the bitter sweet
Commit your crime in your deadly time

He's a wonderful dancer, you know. Of course, I had no way of knowing that as he was dancing the Salsa with me and getting me to share personal stories of who I was, he had already set his plan to destroy my sisters and I into action. While we were dancing like two people in love, his partner, the rage demon, had been setting my sisters against each other and it would just take me walking into the house at the right moment to seal our doom. I walked in, we used our powers against each other... and thus the power of the Charmed Ones was temporarily severed.

It's too divine -- I want to bend
I want this bliss but something says I must resist

After the fight with my sisters, it was Cole that I went to for solace. He held me as I cried and I could tell that he was upset about something. At the time, I just assumed that it was because I was hurting so much and that I was so devastated about what had happened with Piper and Prue. The thing is, he really was upset that I was so badly hurt. I know now that he was supposed to kill me that night when I turned to him. Instead... instead he sent me back home to fix things with my sisters.

Of course, he should hve known it wouldn't be that easy and his partner possessed him. He forced Belthazor to come to the Manor and attack us. Unfortunately for both Belthazor and the other demon, we had been preparing nd practicing for just such an attack. Belthazor killed the other demon before we could -- and then Piper got our piece of demon flesh to make the potion to vanquish Belthazor.

Another life -- another time
We're Siamese twins writhing intertwined

When my sisters and I were sucked into the past to save our family line from being completely wiped out by evil, I ran into a fortune teller. Harmless guy, but he did something quite amazing -- or something quite amazing happened. He peeled an apple and told me to blow upon it before he dropped it into a barrel of water. When the apple peel hit the water, it immediately formed itself into the shape of a "C".

That was when I knew that he and I were meant to be together -- or so I thought at the time.

Face to face -- no telling lies
The masks they slide to reveal a new disguise

Imagine my shock to find out that the man that I had fallen in love with was actually the demon that had been hunting and hurting my sisters and I for so long. I was both shocked and crushed. I had never felt that strongly about any man in my life before, and the one that I did love completely and thoroughly turned out to be one of my biggest enemies. I didn't know what to do and then when he kidnapped me from his apartment that night when my sisters showed up with the demonic bounty hunter, things just got a hell of a lot more confusing.

I loved him, I couldn't deny that. He loved me and he had tried not to.

You never can win -- it's the state I'm in
This danger thrills and my conflict kills

I did something that I hadn't done in a very long time.

I lied to my sisters.

I took the potion we had created and then I shattered the vial over Cole's shirt on the floor of the crypt we were in. I kissed Cole and he shimmered away. I thought that I would never see him again and I told my sisters that I had vanquished the demon that had been hunting us for so long.

It was a lie, but my grief was real. Something had been vanquished that night -- the reelationship between me and the only man I had ever seen a real future with.

They say follow your heart -- follow it through
But how can you -- when you're split in two?

I should have realized that what was between us wouldn't just fade away with time. I should have taken the fact that Cole was a very stubborn man into account, too.

I told him that he had to stay away, that there couldn't be anything between us. We were on opposite sides and I just couldn't keep the secret or keep hiding any longer. I had told my sisters that I hadn't vanquished him and he just needed to stay away.

And you'll never know
You'll never know

"No" was not something he was going to let me say, and he decided that he wanted to be on the side of good. He chose good over evil to be with me.

One more kiss -- before we die
Face to face -- and dream of flying

He was determined -- even when my sisters tried to kill him.

He showed up at the Manor the day that I became linked with the curse of the Bo and the old western town. I had been shot somehow and I was dying in front of him. He wasn't willing to let me die and he took Prue into the past in order to save me. As much as my family hated to admit it, Cole did indeed love me and it wasn't something that we could fight any longer.

I didn't want to be without him.

Who are you? -- who am I?
Wind in wings -- two angels falling

We both should have realized that it could never be that easy for us. Just because we loved each other and wanted to be together didn't mean that we would be allowed to be happy.

Then, in an instant, Cole's past came back to haunt all of us. A demon came into our lives to take Cole's place in the Underworld -- and his plans for me did not sound like they included a quick death. The surviving fiance of a witch that Cole had killed also showed up -- and suddenly Cole was a human.

He was an innocent.

That should have been the end of it, you know? Cole was human now and we should have been able to have the life together that we wanted to have.

Should have.

To die like this -- with a last kiss
It's falsehood's flame -- it's a crying shame

The Source needed a new host and so he possessed Cole. None of us realized what was happening -- not even Cole. The Source became even more powerrful through Cole and everything changed for us -- for all of us.

We had a chance -- my sisters and I -- to save ourselves and the man I love. But the Seer lied to me. She tod me that the only way to save all of us was to not to use the dark grimoire to expel The Source from my husband. She said if we did the magic then we were all lost.

God help me, but I believed her and I took my place at Cole's side -- as Queen of the Underworld.

That was never meant to last, apparently because I then tried to help my sisters protect an innocent that the Source wanted dead. I also found out that the Seer had been feeding me a tonic of pure evil to kill the goodness in me and turn my baby completely evil. The worst part about that? Cole/The Source had known she was doing it.

It all came to a head when The Source, pretending to be me, tricked my sisters into bringing the innocent out of hiding and then killed him.

My sisters showed up at the Penthouse and I had to make a choice. I could help them vanquish The Source -- and the man I loved -- or I could stand by while he killed them.

When I kissed him, I know the Source thought I was choosing him over them. Somehow, somehow, I really do think that the real Cole understood why I was about to do what I did.

I kissed him -- and then I killed him.

Face to face -- the passions breathe
I hate to stay but then I hate to leave

He's since come back into my life and we've started again. Him and I, and we're taking this chance to be together. We're taking this life and we're making it ours. The Elders and the demons have put us through so much hell and we're not willing to let it happen again.

We love each other, the Witch and the Demon, and that's all that matters to us now.

And you'll never know
You'll never know

Muse: Phoebe Halliwell
Fandom: Misc TV; "Charmed"
Words: 1,570 (Not counting the song lyics)
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